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Writer's pictureChoosing Love

3 Ways to better understand your spouses personality

Updated: Jan 5

Do you want to know your spouse on a deeper level? Gaining a greater

understanding of your spouse’s personality (and vice versa) is one way to create

more closeness in your marriage. Our inborn personalities are in our genes, and

those distinct traits make up the building blocks of who we are.


At the same time, the differences in our personalities can get in the way of our

harmony from time to time. Misunderstandings and miscommunications can

create friction in your marriage. But the good news is, when you know one another

on a more intimate level, you’ll have higher chances of resolving these conflicts

successfully.


Wondering how to gain a better comprehension of your spouse’s unique

personality? We’ve gathered a few tips to help you get started.


  1. LISTEN WITH PATIENCE AND EMPATHY.

Each of us is born with an innate personality that will, most likely, stay with us for

our entire lives. Although there may be shifts in our behaviors due to challenging

circumstances or stressful times, we ultimately return to our core personalities.

Because we are so different, it’s easy to focus on the areas where we clash.


If we want to build lifelong love, though, we must approach one another with full

empathy and patience. Listening to your spouse’s perspective through the lens of

their personality can help tremendously when it comes to understanding them

better. We like to think of it as trading places or taking a walk in one another’s

shoes.


2. COMBINE YOUR STRENGTHS AND ACT AS A TEAM.

Having different personality traits is a blessing! Your strengths can complement one

another, and when you combine those strengths as a team, you can accomplish so

much more than you could have alone. The secret is not in becoming more like one

another; it’s in embracing your differences and the things that make each of you

unique.


Take stock of your strengths and weaknesses. Are there areas where the two of you

can step in and carry the weight for one another? Are there areas where you can combine your superpowers and achieve goals as a team? Your individual

personalities can serve your marriage well when you’re aware of them and willing

to work together.


3. USE RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENTS TO GAIN DEEPER INSIGHT.

Sometimes, we need a little bit of help to “get” one another on a deeper level. Using

relationship assessments as a marriage enrichment tool can help the two of you

achieve a greater understanding of one another. We offer multiple relationship

assessment tools that help couples deepen their relationships and ultimately create

a chance to experience more fulfilling love.


  • For singles and dating couples, the Yada! Assessment is a fantastic way to

get to know yourselves and one another better. Ultimately, marriages stand a

greater chance of success when both individuals are healthy and self-aware.

Yada! can help you forge a healthy and fulfilling path, whether you’re in a

relationship right now or not.


  • For pre-marriage and married couples, the SYMBIS Assessment is the way to

go. While its title (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) implies that it’s

tailored for engaged couples, it’s useful and constructive for married couples

at any stage of their relationship.


  • Married couples can benefit from the Better Love Assessment, which can help

you take your relationship to the next level. If you’re looking to enhance your

relationship and get the love you both want, take a look at Better Love.



Provided by Dr. Les and Leslie Parrot


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